Day 15 / Lockdown in Barcelona

The unexpected yet beautiful home schooling/home activism experiment

Friday 27 March. This was such an awful day I don’t even want to write about it. But this blog, if it has any point at all, is to show the reality of all this, and to try and give insights to what is happening each day on a personal, local and international level.

Kira had a great nights sleep, in my mind she was ready for a beautiful and rich day of home-schooling. On the way to breakfast there was a minor incident with me trying to stop her spilling some orange juice, which ended in me having breakfast alone and Kira sitting on the bed sucking on her comfort blanket. The irony of all this is I had JUST shared the image from this post on facebook, and at almost exactly the same moment was suffering a crisis, that my child was turning into a vegetable, and feeling the home-schooling pressure that she hadn’t done any reading or writing for over 36 hours, and that her classmates were probably getting way ahead. I shared thoughts with the family about how we could make an effort to have an active and inspiring morning to facilitate educational activities for our child.

Things went downhill from there really. On a practical note I had to work in the room next door to the rest of the family because the internet connection in the bedroom is massively frustrating, to the point where I can’t watch a youtube video. So when Kira’s next grump started, I tried to help, which didn’t help, Kira was on top of me, I was trying to write this blog and explained to her that I needed five minutes, then was crying, she went away to her room, then I exploded at everyone. Everyone exploded back. It wasn’t good.

I cancelled over half of my to do list, and cancelled a call, but started feeling physical signs of anxiety immediately after canceling the call, I think my whole self knew I needed the contact. So I made the call and it was good, until we started talking about the USA situation. If there is one thing I consciously pack away and ignore as something I can’t deal with, it’s the USA situation. I can’t take it all in, it’s horrific, and there are many many things nearer home that I already struggle to cope with.

And it’s still really cold and grey. We had the gas heater on! Will the sun please come back soon.

By lunch everyone had calmed down, and in the afternoon, after being stopped from watching #talksforfuture by Kira, home-schooling turned into both of us having a siesta. When she was asleep I felt like chatting with a friend, or wanted to do work, and neither of those were possible – everyone else works, (they have busyness thrust upon them) and my messy head meant I couldn’t even decide what to do.

A friend sent me an article with the following title – “That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief” I couldn’t agree more.

My mum saved me today with a beautiful video chat with Kira and then me. There’s definitely a learning curve with how to make video chats work, which will be a beautiful skill to hold on to after this. It just lifts everything to have someone else involved in the conversation, and it spontaneously turned into a lovely game where both Grandma and Kira drew a reindeer as best they could, and then showed each other the picture. A moment of joy to be grateful for.

At around 6pm we received news that Bernat’s brother was on his way to hospital, being taken by his partner in the car. He had a fever last Friday, but appeared better after the weekend so we thought he was recovering. Our immediate concern was about whether he would be able to receive the treatment he needed, or whether the hospital would already be overwhelmed. We didn’t have information about exactly how sick he was. He has asthma.

Our secondary concerns were about the rest of the family, who had all been together the day before he showed the first symptoms including grandparents.

At 8pm we joined in the clapping for the health workers with new vigour and wallowed in the moment smiling and socialising with neighbours (today I also read that funeral workers should be included as recipients of this daily act).

There was no chance to talk about what was happening, just a few words here and there out of earshot of Kira. Me nervously watching Bernat on his phone, wondering what was going on. Before we went to sleep we heard news that he had a bed in the hospital, and that he wasn’t getting any worse. We needed that.

home-schooling 1 : Looked at some emails from the school after siesta, a story for ten minutes and the Grandma chat.

home-activism 5 : Trying to get the talks for future out there

Days 1 – 11

Day 12 and 13

Day 14

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